Marital Unfaithfulness

This is what Risa just posted on her blog and she told me all about
the conversation so I really wanted to post it as well because I
thought it was so interesting/sad.

"While in a meeting about camp on Friday we diverted and soon Samuel,
Vicky, and I were in a deep conversation about AIDS and marriage in
Uganda. I have noticed that many children still have mothers alive,
however their mothers are HIV positive, and their fathers have died. I
have assumed this is from infidelity; deducting that if not more
children would be HIV positive. Since many children are negative and
have mothers who are positive, I must assume that their mothers
contracted the virus post-birth and thus their husbands extracted it
first and have since died from it, leaving a tragic situation. In
Uganda it is basically assumed that the husband will be unfaithful to
his wife, and this is widely accepted. Many men still take multiple
wives. Thus, the spread of HIV is so rampant. I asked about Christians
and they both were quick to add that it simply doesn't matter. Samuel
said, "What are they thinking about God if it's not Sunday?" Implying
that men follow Jesus on Sundays only.

Samuel has risen above a hard situation in which his father took two
wives, and he grew up watching his father love his second wife more
than his mother, leaving heartache. Needless to say, he is very
against men having multiple wives. This hurt is the same hope that we
have in America for the next generation of marriages. Hopefully the
pain of people's childhoods will inspire them not to pass on the pain
to their children's.

My heart began to break as I sat asking further clarifying questions.
Obviously, some women are unfaithful too, but in Ugandan culture,
women are at home caring for the children most of the time, making it
much more difficult for them to be unfaithful. I asked Vicky how she
planned to deal with this, as she is a very beautiful, educated young
woman. She replied, "Risa, that is why I told you I want a mzungu
boyfriend." I assured her that mzungus can be unfaithful too, and her
response was, "Yes, but at least in a mzungu marriage, when a man is
not satisfied with his wife, he will leave her rather than sleeping
around and thus eventually infecting her with HIV."

This point that Vicky made was new to me. I have pondered it for the
past few days. Here it is culturally unacceptable to leave one's
husband or wife, and in the States it is too culturally acceptable to
do so. However, I am grateful for each time a spouse is honest about
his or her infidelity and leaves when unsatisfied, freeing up the
family from his or her double life. But, WOW!!! I have been deeply
burdened by this. Change is necessary. Children need to be educated to
be faithful, starting while they are young. This needs to be modeled
though actions. And, we need to pray that men and women alike will
have self-control in the moment to do what is right.

As Vicky walked out of the room she pointed to Samuel and me while
saying adamantly "You know what they say, the answer to HIV starts
with me, with you, and with you!!!" "