Risa's Unedited Thoughts

(I wanted to post some of this incredible story from Risa's blog, please read and thank you for your prayers.)

 

January 21, 2010
 
Because of confidentiality, names of Ugandans here have been changed....

Stephan. This guy is a complete miracle. The other day Alison and I marched into his hospital room with two purposes. One, we were going to tell him how much hope we had for him and how much we love him. The other, we were going to read Scriptures of being conquerors in Christ and God's strength over him. Stephan had gotten sick and had been sent to the clinic. Dr. Emma said he could come back home and thus he was staying here at home when Mary Ann arrived from the States. I had been here daily during the camp to check up on him. Mary Ann didn't realize how sick he had been and so brought him to camp one day. About two hours later a little boy runs up to me and says, "Risa, there is a boy who is sick who is looking for you." I ran to find Stephan standing there shaking. In a weak voice he says, "I want to go and sleep somewhere and I need a sweater and Tylenol." I immediately grabbed Chris Sheehy and said, "Take him to your dorm." I SPRINTED up to my room to grab my sweatshirt after grabbing Kindri and sending her after Chris and Stephan. Of course, Chris being the giving kid that he is had Stephan already wrapped up in his sweatshirt by the time I arrived at the dorm. Kindri left to go and find Mary Ann with the car to take Stephan away while I sat there holding back tears as I rubbed the back of this boy who I love. And when I say I love him, I am at a loss of words. Sometimes I wonder if God has brought me here for Stephan and James. They know I love them. It's becoming evident. And for me, this is the greatest joy. They are understanding that they can ask me things and sometimes I'll tell them no and other times I'll tell them it's absolutely okay. They are becoming comfortable asking me why to certain questions, which really is a huge milestone in this culture. If I move my hands in expression they're not wincing anymore from a natural reaction to fear of being abused. They know I will never touch them and that if my hand goes flying somewhere it's because I'm so caught up in the story I am telling that it is coming out in my non-verbals. Stephan and James will even smile at me at times and they have completely come to understand my facial expressions. I was upset over something the other day and James came up to me in a crowd of people and said, "Risa, is there any problem?" I assured him everything was okay, that what I was upset about was nothing to do with Stephan. I knew that was really was he was asking because Stephan was in the hospital. He was probably the only Ugandan who picked up that I was anything but normal at that moment. These kids know I pray for them and they know that at the end of the day I will fight for what is fair for them. And, they have come to know that when I say no to something, I really love them and have their best interest at heart.
 
So I am sitting rubbing Stephan's back in a stuffy boy's dorm room as he is wrapped up in this blanket and sweatshirt and absolutely shaking the bed because his fever is so high. I am trying to help him sip down water without sitting up. He begins to cry. I just continue to rub his back and tell him how much I love him. The phone in my pocket began to buzz and I went to silence it. Accidentally I pressed "Accept." I had answered by mistake. Seeing it was an international call, I was ready to tell the person that they needed to call me another time. "Risa, it's Aimee." "Aimee, I cannot talk now, I am here with Stephan and he is really sick. You can talk to him, but he is unable to speak, so he'll not talk back to you." I put the phone up to his ear and Aimee began to speak words of love into this sick kid's life. When I heard her voice stop I said, "Aim, call me another time. I love you." And I hung up. At that moment, Mary Ann pulled up with the car. God's perfect and miraculous timing. Jason had been lingering in case I needed any assistance. He picked up Stephan and carried him to the car. Stephan continued to tremor. He was BURNING up. Myself scared, I said goodbye to him in the car and sent him off to the hospital.
 
The next day Mary Ann came to camp and I asked if I could go see Stephan. Of course, she said yes. I was worried about him. Really worried. Mary Ann said he had asked her that morning if I would be coming. I think he knew without a shadow of a doubt I would be there. I borrowed the car, asked Cathy Burkholder for any advice she had for me, and I went into the hospital room to check on a boy who I thought might be dieing. Mary Ann, a former nurse, was deeply concerned about his condition, as was Kindri, another nurse from the U.S.
 
I walked into the hot hospital room that would not pass the first stages of any inspection in the States and sat on Stephan's bed. He couldn't speak. He was not taking in food because he said he had a wound in his throat. He was burning up. He was weak. But, he grabbed my hand and his non-verbals spoke volumes. He rubbed my hand with his thumb and I just rubbed his back. Stephan was in so much pain. I wanted to get some calories in him and so I sent his uncle to the market for some ice cream, thinking something cold might even help his throat. I got two baby spoonfuls down him before the pain was too great. I couldn't believe that in the 24 hours he had been there nobody had thought to take the shirt off of this boy who was on fire. We helped him out of it, but not without causing him excruciating pain. He was on a drip, so at least he was getting re-hydrated. I asked him if I could read some Scriptures to him. He nodded. I opened to Romans 8. Beginning to read I paused for a long, long time. I was about to loose it completely. Hearing words of confidence from my God at a moment like this and reading them over a sick kid who is a part of my heart was bringing two of the deepest parts of me together in and extreme moment of need and crying out. I knew that if I was going to make it through this, I needed to pause. Here we can't cry around the sick because they take it as a sign of giving up. I didn't want to make Stephan think I am giving up, because I AM NOT!!! I also could not look at Alison who was studying the floor in an effort to hide her own emotion. I got through the passage, turned to Philippians 4 and then to Zephaniah. I looked at Stephan and said, "Stephan, God loves you. He is mighty to save you, he is rejoicing over you with singing, and he will be your strength." laying there limp, he nodded. Stephan knows how much God loves him, and he trusts that. Alison asked if she could pray for him and again he nodded. She prayed.
 
Towards the end of our visit I told Stephan that I could not wait for him to know my kids someday. I told him one day he will need to teach them how to be good like he is and I told him all of the things I appreciate about him. I said that I want my kids to be just like him and I cannot wait for them to know him and learn from him. Stephan needs to know I am holding out hope for him far into the future, and that yes, he is very sick, but he can fight on. He was loosing hope, and so I needed to hope and dream for him. I promised him I would come each and every day until his was better. He nodded when I said I'd come everyday. But, he did not respond when I said, "Until you're better." Alison and I both picked up on that. And, as we left, Alison did not make it to the car before breaking down. I was too depressed to crack at that moment. When I am the most depressed, I don't cry very much. Some things are too deep for tears.
 
Stephan's aunt and uncle were in that hot room. I asked if they were going to spend the night. They said they had other kids to care for. I wanted to shout, "BUT THIS ONE IS SICK!!!" But, I didn't. I think Alison, Aimee, Kerri, my mother, and I love Stephan more than his biological family. He is part of our family. When we left I was fully prepared to spend many more hours in that hospital room. I would sleep there if I had to. I would do what it took to be at Stephan's beckon call.
 
I went back to camp and immediately sent a text to Brendan and Jana. Brendan called me back immediately. I told him what was happening and said, "Brendan, we're discouraged. We need prayer here today." I think he took it to heart. Many people in the States were praying that day, as my mom had also put a prayer notice on her FaceBook. The next morning when I woke up, I broke. Cathy Burkholder found me and just hugged me while I wept.
 
I came home from camp that afternoon. I was walking up to my house and I saw a young boy squatting out front of our compound. I took a double take and began to run. Stephan was there. I gave him a BIG hug and said that I was going to visit him. Obviously, he knew that. He said, "I can go back and you can come and visit me." "NO WAY!!! Welcome home." He is still sick, but God is a God of miracles. I am floored by His healing power. Mary Ann, Alison, and I all thought he was giving up. I truly believe God spoke to Him in that hospital room and gave him a hope to get well for. The team could not believe it when they saw him at the house that night. It was a true miracle.
 
He came in and slept the afternoon away on our couch. I sat down next to him on the couch and rubbing his back said to him, "Stephan, between God's strength, many people's prayers, and your will to get better, God had done a miracle." He smiled at me.
 
I cannot begin to tell you what I have learned from this experience. I learned that God does miracles. I learned that life is largely due to a person's will. I learned that prayer is powerful. I learned that I need my community from Walnut Creek to be present in my work here. My mom, Alison, Cathy, Aimee, and Brendan were all key parts of this journey for me, and for Stephan. And, I learned that Stephan knows that he is a part of Aimee, Alison, my mom, Kerri, and my hearts and that when he gives up hope, we will Hope for him. He is truly loved and God is going to do great things with him.